


Are We In Love (Spencer Reid X Reader)

by user59164830360



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Criminal Minds (US TV) Season/Series 06, Emotional, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Lust, Past Drug Use, Post-Episode: s06e18 Lauren, Smut, Temporary Character Death, Trauma, Virginia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/user59164830360/pseuds/user59164830360
Summary: Who knew death could bring people so close together.After the death of their mutual friend Spencer Reid and Y/N Y/L/N see each other at a park after the funeral. While bonding over their trauma will they fall in love or stay just friends and will they be able to survive the shocking truth.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Intro

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_Hello everyone and welcome,_

_This is a story about friendship, love, trauma, lust, drama, and hardships. This story has some spoilers for season 6 so if you have not watched that I suggest you do that before reading this story. It won't be exactly like what happens in the show but I will be using some of the plot of that season for this book._

_**Disclaimers:** _

_Since this is a Criminal Minds fanfic there will be mentions of violence and other things. Some of these topics that I will mention are very heavy and a lot of people can be sensitive. With that in mind I will add trigger warnings at the beginning of any chapter that needs it. This fic will be pretty sad but I promise it **will** have a happy ending so no matter how sad it gets keep that in mind._

_Also just a reminder that I_ _do not_ _own the criminal minds name, any characters that are in the show, or it's plots. I do however own any character that I make up and add to this story._

_So far I'm really proud of this story so I hope you all enjoy it. Without further ado I present to you......._

Are We In Love

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	2. Lauren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of past addiction. mentions of possible relapse.

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It's been a rough week for Spencer.

Emily Prentiss, one of his closest friends, has died. It happened so quickly. He didn't even get to say goodbye to her.

It was currently the day of the funeral and in all honesty he was feeling like shit. He didn't want to leave his apartment that morning but he also didn't want to be disrespectful to his friend and miss her funeral.

When JJ had walked into the waiting room and told everyone the news he was heartbroken. He could have saved her, he could have done something to help her. If he would have just figured out the Lauren Reynolds thing a bit earlier maybe she would still be here. That's what he had been thinking since he heard the news.

He was doing horribly. He did something he never thought he would do again.

He bought dilaudid.

It was a moment of weakness. He knew he would never use it. But, he was _very_ tempted to. It brought him release, comfort, an escape from reality. Everything he needed to forget that he couldn't save his friend.

He hid it from himself in a drawer in his kitchen he never opened. He knew it was there. Of course he knew it was there, he was the one that put it there after all. He wanted to use it _so badly._ But then, he thought about what Emily might say.

When he first started using she was the only one who asked him if he was ok. Yes, he was rude to her about asking him but, she was the only one who actually asked. The others knew something was wrong with him but, none of them bothered to ask. Emily did though. She always did.

The funeral was nice. A lot of people he had never seen were there. He assumed they all knew Emily though. He was sure she had a lot of friends because who wouldn't want to be friends with someone like her. She's an amazing person. Well, he supposes now he has to say she _was_ a nice person. Now she was just some bones and flesh in the ground. Never to be seen again.

The team wanted to go to JJ's house after the funeral but he didn't think he could do it.

"Come on Spence, why don't you come over and we can all just stay together." JJ asked him quietly like he was fragile and going to break if she spoke any louder.

"No thanks JJ. I kind of just want to be alone right now. Deal with it on my own, you know?" he told her back equally as soft.

"If you need anything please call me Spence." she says to him before she walks to the car where her husband Will and kids are waiting for her.

Before he leaves the cemetery he looks back at her casket. One of his best friends would be in that box forever and he wouldn't be able to talk to her or hug her anymore. He wouldn't be able to laugh with her or feel the love she showed him when they hung out. His dearest friend would now and forever, be worm food. He didn't really believe in heaven, but he hoped that if it was real, that's where she would be. Because Emily Prentiss was nothing short of an angel to anyone in her life.

**°•°•°•°•**

Since the funeral ended Spencer had just been wandering around his neighborhood. He didn't really want to go home because he didn't want to risk being alone with the dilaudid.

As he continued to wander he kept remembering things about Emily. The way she made the whole team smile was amazing. She even got Hotch to smile at times and that was always nice to see. Sometimes he would hate himself for having an eidetic memory but in that moment he was happy he did because he would never be able to forget her. Unless he developed schizophrenia like his mother but that was another traumatic topic for another day.

Continuing with his wandering he found himself at a park. It was actually quite nice. He was feeling quite peaceful actually. The most at ease he had been since the news. As he kept walking he saw a girl sitting on a bench who looked familiar but he couldn't place why yet. He decided he would sit next to the girl to see if she recognized him too and if she did, maybe she could take his mind off of Emily.

He sat down on the bench the girl was sitting at and he heard her sniffle. _She was crying._

He didn't know why but a sense of sadness hit him. He didn't know if he knew the girl but, he did know she was upset and for some reason that made him upset too.

"Sorry" the girl mumbled.

Spencer looked at her confused. "A-Are you ta-talking to me?" he asked her nervously. He mentally face palmed himself because he was stuttering so much.

"Ya. Sorry i'm crying. The funeral was sad wasn't it? I saw you there. You were in the front row. You also helped them carry in her coffin. You were close with her too." she says the last part with a smile.

It makes him smile to see her smile. "Um Y-Ya I was close with her. She um- she was my coworker. We worked at the BAU together." he explains to the girl. "She was the best wasn't she. I worked with her at Interpol before she came to work for the BAU." Spencer looks at her as she tells him. He notes that she looks both sad and happy at the memory.

"I miss her." Spencer's eyes widen as the words rush out of his mouth. He doesn't know why he's telling her this. For someone so closed off he's already telling her more than he's told his team. He thought for sure she would laugh at him or be uncomfortable with him talking to her but _no_. She smiled slightly and said, "Ya, I miss her too."

They looked at each other. They could both tell the other was having a hard time with Emily's death. She had left a void in their hearts. She was a great friend to the both of them and they lost her. But somehow, in that moment, they both knew it would be ok.

"How did you find out?" he cringed to himself for asking her such a personal question. Like who in the world asks someone they just met how they found out that one of their closest friends was dead.

"I was at work. I was working on a file. It was actually really late and I should have been at home sleeping. I was so engrossed in my file I almost missed the call. I answered and it was someone named... I believe she said her name was Penelope. When she introduced herself I could tell she had been crying. I asked her if she was ok and she said yes. She asked me if I was, well me, and I told her yes. She said she was sorry to inform me but, um- Emily had passed away. I couldn't believe it, you know. I hung up on the girl and fell to the ground. I balled my eyes out in my office. I had talked to her a couple of days before. She told me she was doing great and that her cat was starting to drive her insane. It's crazy how in a matter of days someone you love so much can just be gone."

Spencer didn't know how to respond. The poor girl wasn't even at home when she got the news. She was at work in her office doing paperwork. "I'm so sorry. The girl you talked to, I know her. Her name is Penelope Garcia. I didn't know she called Emily's friends and family to tell them she died, she should have told me, I would have been with her. I'm uh- i'm Spencer by the way. Spencer Reid." He didn't know why that last sentence came out of his mouth so awkwardly but he wished it would stop.

The girl didn't say anything for a bit. She only smiled to herself. She looked at him and her smile grew which made Spencer smile too. "I'm Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N." She reached her hand out to shake his. Spencer was a big germaphobe but, for her, shaking hands didn't seem like such a horrible thing. He shook her hand and smiled at her.

He was about to ask her another question when a phone rang. They both reached into their pockets to see whose phone it was. He saw it wasn't his and heard Y/N say, "Y/L/N, what can I do for you."

As she continued her conversation she said a bunch of yes sirs and I got it's. She finished her phone call and turned back to him with a smile. "Hey Spence," he blushed at the nickname she called him, "that was my boss. Apparently I am needed back for a very urgent matter." she saw his face fall and she immediately felt guilty. "If you're sad you won't see me again, don't be. I transferred to the FBI a couple of years after Emily. For different reasons than her but I transferred three floors down from you guys," she felt around her pockets but when she didn't find what she was looking for she frowned. Then, she looked like she got an idea and smiled again, "give me your phone." He looked at her confused but complied with her command.

She typed something on it then handed it back to him. "I put my number in your phone. If you ever want to talk about Emily or just hang out I'd like that a lot. I hope to see you around Spence." she smiles at him, turns around, and walks away.

Spencer looks at his phone and smiles. He didn't really know Y/N but, he was really excited to find out what she was like. For the first time since Emily died he was able to smile, like genuinely smile. He even forgot about the dilaudid for a while. He was genuinely excited to see another person for the first time in a long time too. Maybe with her he would be able to overcome the cravings. Maybe....

She could be his new Emily. No one would be able to replace her, her friendship was too good to be replaced but maybe Y/N could be there for him just like Emily. She could be his shoulder to cry on and he could be hers.

He knew he was probably getting his hopes up with this girl but, he just wanted a new friend. They had Emily in common and if they hung out more maybe they would find more things they have in common. He could only hope. But for now, he was going to try and work up the courage to actually text her to hang out.

He would worry about that tomorrow though he thought to himself as he walked back to his apartment, right now he just wanted sleep.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Hey ~~  
> Hey babes. Thank you so much for reading this. I am very exited about this story. I just wanted to take a second right now to be serious.  
> If you currently have or have had an addiction in the past I just want you all to know that I am here for you. If anyone needs someone to talk to please do not hesitate to message me. If you want to get help here is a number you can call for that 1-800-662-4357.  
> I love every single person reading this and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on don't be afraid to reach out to me. <3
> 
> \- L


	3. Calling

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You know that moment when you wake up and everything is great. That moment when you’re freshly awake and you don’t remember anything that’s happening in your life and you’re just in a peaceful state of mind. Well, that was Spencer’s favorite time of the morning. He didn’t have to remember the pain that he was currently feeling. It was just peace.

In those few moments he was just a regular person. He wasn't a genius with an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, could read 20,000 words per minute. He wasn’t an FBI agent who had a lot of trauma due to his childhood and his job. He was just Spencer Reid, a 29 year old man.

Sadly that moment can not be his constant reality. He has to deal with the fact that one of his best friends is gone. He has to deal with the fact that he has a bunch of issues he needs to deal with and that if he doesn’t deal with them now they could potentially get way worse.

But hope. There’s always hope.

No matter how horrible a person's life gets there is always that one piece of hope. Sometimes people aren’t able to see it but Spencer could. And he met her yesterday.

Y/N, she was his hope.

He had just met the girl but he was already so drawn to her. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. He wanted to get to know her. He wanted her in his life. He honestly didn’t care how. He just wanted to be around her.

He thought he sounded clingy. He had literally met her less than twenty-four hours ago and he already wanted to just be around her. But he couldn’t help it.

She seemed like such a great person and Spencer craved for someone,  _ anyone,  _ to be there for him. Yes, he had the team but, they would just treat him like a baby. That’s what they always did. They would be like those parents who would tell their small children they were crying for no reason when they would get hurt. They made him feel lesser than them because of the way they acted towards him.

He knew they cared about him. They were like a little family. But, family doesn’t pretend nothing is wrong when something is clearly happening. They ignored him when he was having problems after Tobias so, why would they help him now.

He knew they cared about him. They were like a little family. But, family doesn’t pretend nothing is wrong when something is clearly happening. They ignored him when he was having problems after Tobias so, why would they help him now.

Family was supposed to be there for you no matter what and that's not what they did. They left him to deal with his problem alone. They left  _ him  _ alone and afraid.

The only person that at least tried to help was the only person that couldn’t help. If she was still here he wouldn’t even be having this problem. If he would have known this was going to happen he would have spent more time with her. He would have hugged her  _ way  _ more even though he has a thing about germs. But sadly, he didn’t know that she would die.

And just like that, as quickly as he had woken up just as quickly he had once again blamed himself for what happened to Emily.

To stop himself from going into a spiral he tried to get his mind off of her and onto something else. His mind immediately went to Y/N. He had her number. Should he call her? What would she be doing? Would he be interrupting something? His mind was going way faster thinking about calling her. If he called right now would she still be asleep? It was ten but maybe she slept in late. 

She had to go back to work yesterday so maybe she had stayed up late and was still asleep. He decided to himself that he would call her later, like  _ way  _ later. He was nervous. What if she didn’t actually want to hang out and giving him her phone number was just a kind gesture.

If it was just a kind gesture and Spencer called he feared he would come off as potentially clingy. He just wanted a new friend but he didn’t want to have to go through the process of making that new friend.

°•°•°•°•

It was currently one in the afternoon. It had been three hours since he promised himself he would call her and he hadn’t. He was currently sitting on his couch in a criss cross position with his phone on his table staring at it. Staring at the phone wasn’t going to make it call Y/N so he didn’t know why he was just staring at it.

Finally, he got off of the couch and grabbed his phone. He walked into his kitchen scrolling through his contact until he landed on Y/N’s name. He hovered above it for a second before clicking the call button.

He wanted to fling his phone but he was scared she would answer when the phone was flying across the room. After three rings the phone clicked. “Y/L/N, what can I do for you?” Oh my god! It was actually you. The thought hadn’t crossed his mind until now but he was scared you had given him a wrong number.

“Hello?” 

“Oh! Um, hi it’s um, it’s Spencer. Spencer Reid from the park.” he mentally cursed himself for still being so awkward.

“I remember you,” she responded lightly chuckling, “How are you doing today?”

God she was so nice. “I’m doing better. How are  _ you  _ doing? Is everything ok with your job? You got called yesterday and I’m slightly nosey to know what happened.”

She chuckled again before responding. “Well it wasn’t as big as they made it out to be. Turns out my boss just misplaced a file and he was worried he would get fired. He’s been going through this thing where he thinks that any little mistake will get him fired. We try to reassure him that he won’t get fired over losing a file but, people have been getting fired left and right due to budget cuts and he’s afraid he’ll be next.”

“Oh I’m sorry I had no idea that it was budget cut time already.”

“It’s because  _ you  _ work for the BAU. You guys are like the FBI’s golden children. You won’t get cut if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not worried about me. I could care less about what happens to me. Are _you_ worried? If anything happens I would be glad to help you.” Once those words came out of his mouth Spencer wanted to die. That was way too much. They had _just_ met. Like _god_ what was he trying to do, marry the woman. He wasn’t opposed to the idea but they had literally just met so he had to dial it down.

“That’s very sweet of you to worry but, I think I should be fine. I’m pretty sure that they won’t be firing anyone from my team. We’ve had a pretty good year. But, your offer is very nice. Thank you.”

“No problem. Um anyway, the reason that I called you is because I was wondering if…….. You would maybe want to go out for coffee?” His heart was beating so fast he could hear it in his ear. She was going to say no. That’s the only thing he could think of. She was going to laugh at him and call him stupid for even trying and hand up. But then she answered. Her beautiful voice came through the phone and said,

“I’d love to get coffee. I’m currently at work but, I’m free tomorrow if that works for you.”

“Ya um, tomorrow works for me. What time would you like to meet?”

“I know it’s a little late but, how does seven p.m. sound? I wake up at five to go to work and if you’re free all day tomorrow I’m assuming you won’t want to get up that early to get coffee and if you try to convince me I’ll get mad because you deserve sleep.”

Spencer chuckled softly. “Seven is fine.”

They stayed silent on the line for a while. They were both smiling like idiots on opposite ends of the phone. They stayed in that comfortable silence for a while until Y/N spoke up.

“Hey. I have to go now but I'm looking forward to coffee. See you tomorrow Spence.”

“See you tomorrow Y/N.”

He did it. He actually did it. He called Y/N and now they were going to get coffee and he couldn’t wait.

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	4. The Coffee "Date"

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To say Spencer was nervous was an understatement. He could probably fill a tub with all of his sweat. He was seeing her again and he was both extremely nervous and extremely ecstatic

It was currently 6:30 and he had to leave his apartment at 6:45 to get to the coffee shop on time. He had been pacing around his apartment for the past half hour thinking of conversation topics, things he could say to her, ways he could possibly ask her to hang out again, and finally what the hell was he going to do if she said no.

Sure she seemed sweet but what if she found him super weird. What if she thought that he was too much and didn’t want to hang out with him.

He was driving himself crazy thinking about this. She would like him. He was a likable person. The BAU liked him. Granted they kind of had to like him because they worked with him but they still liked him. 

He would be fine. At least that’s what he told himself as he walked out of his apartment to go to the coffee shop. He couldn’t stop shaking, he was so nervous. It’s not like this is a date they’re just hanging out. Still he was going to be able to see her again.

He got to the coffee shop at exactly seven and was surprised to see Y/N already there.

Y/N quickly looked up at the sound of the bell on the door ringing and smiled at Spencer. He couldn’t help the smile that escaped his lips when he saw her smile. Her smile could light up a room that was a million miles long Spencer had no doubt about that. And it was directed towards him.

She got up from the table she was at and made her way towards him. “Hi.” she said with a huge grin. “Hey.” Spencer said back with a dopey grin.

“How was your day off?” Y/N asked as the pair made their way to the register to order their coffees. “It was good thank you. How was work?” Spencer took this time in the line to look at what Y/N was wearing. She was wearing a suit and  _ damn  _ did she look good. “It was ok. My boss is still being a little paranoid. I keep telling him that he should only worry if they fire  _ me _ but he said that doesn’t help because now he’s worried I’m going to be fired too. He’s a little strange but he's a good man so what can you do.”

“Are you worried you’ll get fired? I know we kind of talked about this yesterday but do you want to talk about it more?” Y/N was about to answer when it was their turn to order.

“Hi can I get a black coffee please. What would you like Spencer?” Y/N asked looking over at him. “Oh um, I’ll get a black coffee too.” The woman behind the register smiled at both of them and said their total. Before Spencer could even think to have his wallet out Y/N paid.

“I could have paid you know.” he tells the still smiling girl. “I know but I wanted to be nice. You can pay next time. That sound good?” Spencer only nodded and smiled. She said next time. They had only been together for like ten minutes and she already wanted to hang out again. Hopefully she wouldn’t change her mind at the end of the night.

“So what do you like to do Spencer? What are your interests, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, what’s your biggest accomplishment? Tell me about you.” Spencer was a little shocked. No one really asked him about himself. No one ever really wanted to get to know him. He was just a piece of brain to everyone so when Y/N asked him these questions he had to think for a minute before coming up with answers to her questions.

“Well. I like to read. I like to watch Star Trek, Dr. Who, um, I like to learn new stuff. I don’t like to drive. My biggest pet peeve is…. I actually don’t know what it is and my biggest accomplishments are my PhD's.”

“How many do you have?”

“Well I have three PhD's one in Mathematics, one in Chemistry, and one in Engineering. I also have two BA's, one in Psychology and another in Sociology.”

He looked over at Y/N who was wide eyed. That was really a typical reaction he would get from people so he was expecting it. Next she was probably going to ask how old he was, how smart he was, basic things like that. Well at least that’s what he was expecting.

Instead Y/N looked at him and asked, “What’s your favorite fact?”

Spencer's face immediately lit up, “Well did you know that Chicago's nickname of the ‘Windy City’ has nothing to do with its weather. A journalist in the 19th century actually coined the term because they were referring to the residents who were ‘hotheaded’ or 'full of hot air'.”

“Oh my god! That’s hilarious,” she says while giggling, “I’ve never been to Chicago but I do know a couple of people from there and I can confirm to you that they are in fact hotheaded.”

“Wait really? Would you like to know another fact?”

“Yes please.” Y/N replied eagerly.

Spencer was very,  _ very  _ surprised but nonetheless excited someone wanted to listen to him.

“Did you know that originally oranges from Southeast Asia weren’t actually orange? They were green. They were a tangerine-pomelo hybrid. And in warmer regions such as Vietnam and Thailand they are still green through maturity.”

“No way! They’re green! Oh my god. I think you broke my brain. I need to see a picture of this. Oh my god. Tell me something else while I look it up.”

Spencer chuckled before telling her another fact. “Ok um, the longest English word is 189,819 letters long and it would take you three and a half hours to say it out loud.”

Y/N put her phone down and stopped her search for the green oranges. She looked at Spencer wide eyed, “One day we  _ will  _ say that word. I don’t care how long it takes. We will accomplish that. Oh my god. I’m going to look it up and write it down then you and I are going to try and say it.”

“Deal.” he replied with a smile.

After a couple of hours of facts from Spencer and excitement from Y/N they looked at the clock and saw that’s is eleven. “Wow it’s been  _ five hours _ since we got here. I have to go to work again tomorrow but I had a lot of fun. Let me know when you can do this again. See you later Spence.” She got up and gave Spencer a hug. He reciprocated the gesture and said goodbye to her. 

She actually wanted to do it again. She wanted to hang out with him.  _ And  _ she  _ listened  _ to him. She spent five hours just listening to him say random stuff he knew and she loved it. Anytime Spencer would say something different her face would light up. If he said a fact about animals or food she would search it up to see what the thing looked like. 

She had fun, he had fun, but most importantly he forgot. He forgot all of his troubles. Tonight she was the only thing that existed. There was no death, no dilaudid, no pain. There was just Spencer and Y/N

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey babes surprise !! I wanted to post a chapter in honor of Matthew's 41st birthday. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Let me know your thoughts. Anyway hope you all have a good day night or whatever it is for you. much love <3
> 
> \- L


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